It was this time last year that I started my journey in the uni. I had walked in, breathed in the air, felt the warmth, and enjoyed the breeze there. I walked in, to complete my degree.
It had been a year, time just zoom by. As we always say, fly by, faster than an airplane. By the beginning of year 2012, I made a glance back, back to the beginning of 2011. Everything felt so fresh, as if it just happened, weeks ago.
I learned lots, and that put me into the low tide. I lost myself. I lost my principle and I was even going to keep up with others footstep, afraid of making a so called ‘wrong’ decision, for this, I paid the price of it. I spent, wasted lots of time, lost track of my life, felt horribly miserable, had horrible mood swing, and first time ever in my life, lost control of myself, my emotion, action and feelings. I did not know how I managed to survive that period, yet at the same time, I saw how weak I am, how weak I can be, how vulnerable I can get. I acted like a childish brat did everything I can to get attention that doesn’t belong to me, to get someone to stay by me. In the end, I got nothing.
These, push me to grow up, or say to realize the rules of the society, which I understood now, but unable to play along with it, knowing that, I don’t want to be that way. Know better about ‘man’, about the adult world.
Now, I came to this realization and understanding that only I can make myself feel good. After so long, the thing I am most proud to tell is that, finally, I can eat alone, and enjoy it. I can watch heart breaking scene yet behave like a lady, and I learned to walk away with grace. And of course, trace the truth.
Now, I am slowly keeping up on my track again, and I am happy with the way I am now. it may be heart breaking at times, yet, I will make it work.
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